hey pretty baby with the high heels on
by Sara47Q
Summary: Darcy hates wearing high heels to work. Relationship: Darcy Lewis/Phil Coulson/Clint Barton


"Whoever invented high heels should be strung up by their gonads and beaten with them," Darcy announced as she walked into the apartment and kicked off the offending objects. She hung up her coat, scarf, and hat, saying, "I'm going to quit my job and work somewhere I can wear sneakers, like Starbucks."

"No you aren't," Clint said as she plopped down on the couch and put her feet in his lap. "You love your job."

She moaned as he pulled off her stockings and started rubbing her feet. "Ok, that's true, but I still hate the shoes."

"So, wear sneakers," Phil said, motioning for her to sit up so he could sit behind her and she lay across his lap. "I doubt Stark will fire you over your choice in footwear." He was running his fingertips up and down her arm and she closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of being home and surrounded by the two people she loved.

"Yeah, but then he'll be taller than me and I don't want to give him that kind of power. Plus Pepper sets the bar pretty high."

"You're still the one with the taser," Clint added.

"There is that."

"I've seen her barefoot."

She opened her eyes and looked up at Phil. "Bullshit! You have not!"

He raised an eyebrow. "It's true. She's not always in heels."

"Huh." It was well known that Pepper Potts was her hero. If Pepper didn't always wear heels, maybe she could get away with it.

"You know, a lot of people think that I never take off my suits."  
"Even to sleep? Or do they think you have suit 'jamas like Barney Stinson?"

Clint chimed in, "The latest rumor I heard is that he's a robot."

Darcy looked up at him. Phil wasn't wearing his suit jacket anymore but he hadn't taken his tie off yet. She reached up and started loosening it and pulling it over his head and put it over her own instead. "What would your agents think of you now?" she asked while playing with the edges of his tie.

"Probably that he's been replaced by one of Stark's Life Model Decoys."

"Or they'll think I'm the luckiest man in New York."

They both smiled at him, and Darcy asked, "Did I miss dinner?"

Phil looked down at her. "It should be here any minute. We ordered from that Thai place you like."

"Mmmmm….foot rub and my favorite dinner? Is it my birthday?"

"Nope, it's just your turn to pick dinner and you know how the boss is about things being fair." Clint's hands had finished with her feet and were now running up and down her calves.

She giggled at Clint. "You made a play for pizza again and got shot down, huh?"

"She's onto you, Barton."

She leaned up to kiss Phil. "Thanks for looking out for me."

"Someone's got to keep him in line. We let him have his way this time and the next thing you know there're wet towels on the floor and you're sitting on an arrow left in the couch cushions."

"That only happened once!"

Darcy nudged Clint's shoulder with her toe. "Tell that to the scar on my ass!"

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"As a matter of fact…" They were interrupted by the doorbell. Darcy hopped up and grabbed her purse. "I've got this. But after dinner…."

"Back to the ass kissing?" Clint asked with a smug grin.

She winked. "My thoughts exactly."

Phil shook his head at them. "What am I going to do with you two?"

Darcy finished paying and turned around, shutting the door with her foot. "Love us because we're adorable?"

"I resent that! I'm a grown man. Adorable is for little girls in princess dresses."

She had started setting food on the table while Phil got out the plates, but paused to look at Clint speculatively. "I have a dress that might fit you for later, Princess."

He flicked water at her from where he'd been washing his hands at the sink.

Phil was filing his plate with food as he added, "You did look pretty good on that mission that went slightly south in Vegas."

"Slightly south! I had to shave my legs, Phil!"

"Please, by all that's holy, tell me that there are pictures."

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," Clint insisted. "Those are the rules."

She gave Clint her best impression of Phil's unimpressed look. "Lame."

Phil smiled and started filling up his plate. "The answer to your question is yes. And later maybe he can take a turn in the heels."

Clint groaned as Darcy's face lit up. "Are you sure it's not my birthday?"


End file.
